Swan Sanctuary

What will it take before we begin to take global warming seriously? We have had several days of temperatures in the upper 90ᐤF.’s and zero chance of rain. The next several days are predicted to be the same. There is complaining of course, often by people who have air conditioned homes, air conditioned automobiles, and they work in air conditioned offices. I do not have air conditioning and for most of my life I have not had it. I do not mind. A ceiling fan and cool breezes drifting through an open window on the shady side of the house, suits me just fine.

We have become complacent with our modern conveniences. We have adopted a belief of entitlement and we think that we should not be inconvenienced by anything. The world, we believe, revolves around us and it is unacceptable whenever we cannot have everything go our way. Our human impulse to control those things around us generally causes us unnecessary suffering.

We cannot control the weather and we are only slightly accurate at predicting it. But then again, maybe it is our very consciousness that is creating the erratic weather patterns. On a subconscious level, perhaps it is our prevailing hatred, war, anger, and  viciousness towards our fellow man and the very planet that provides us life, that is producing a similar rage in our atmosphere. Anger is a form of energy and it feeds the flame of itself, as it grows bigger and bigger, releasing its fury into the space around us. As long as we continue spewing out the toxins of contempt, they will begin to form a cloud of darkness over us. Most people do not give much credence to the power behind their thoughts; but if thoughts of resentment and violence were replaced with love, empathy, and compassion, we might find the increased temperatures and devastating storms abating. If we indeed have the power to affect changes in our atmosphere by simply becoming more loving, what are we waiting for? In spite of the millions of religious folk who swear by the bible and a fictitious man named Jesus, who said simply, “Love one another”, how many actually heed this wisdom? How hot must it get and at what point, with the devastation of food crops and the shortage of water, will we wake up and let go of our sense of righteousness? Will the day come when the whole world can embrace these simple truths – to love each other and to give thanks?

I stated in the first chapter of Question Everything, “Our planet and our very lives hang upon a precarious precipice”. I went on to say, “It is the wakeup call for which you did not set the alarm”. I first wrote these words about seven years ago. These words found their way through me. I did not set out to write a best seller or to sell a million copies. In fact, I had no agenda whatsoever. I knew that I was supposed to write the book. Period. Those who are meant to read it, will be guided to it. Those who can be inspired by it, will discover it. I am a conduit, to be used in whatever way Spirit chooses. Myself, I am nothing.

As I read these words now, I sense the eerie truth that lies within them. Our world has changed, seemingly overnight, because of COVID19. The health of our planet has spiraled down into darkness. The astronomical number of species that are being lost every single day, has been ignored; but now the health of our human population is spiraling down right along with it. We are, quite literally, wobbling at the edge of darkness. Will we be able to maintain balance and heal the planet’s wounds and our own, as well? Are we willing to look over the edge into the deep, black hole of unknowing? Are we willing to take responsibility, not only for our own errors in judgement, but also for  those of our ancestors? Are we willing to change for the sake of the generations that will follow in our footsteps?

I am disappointed that the optimism displayed by so many a year ago, in the Democratic Debates, was deflated like many balloons popping one by one, until we had but one choice. There were so many promising and capable candidates, but the system was rigged against them. Joe Biden was one whom I felt was the least capable of leading our country to a higher state of consciousness. I was curious as to whom he would choose for his running mate. When he announced yesterday that Kamala Harris would be his V.P., I was disheartened once again. I did not know much about Ms. Harris and I assumed that she was Latino; however, the news revealed that her mother is from India and her father, from Jamaica. The truth is, it makes no difference. Barack Obama has often been referred to as black and now they are referring to Kamala as black; but all this talk of skin color and race has got to stop. We need to get over it if we are going to survive as a species. I am not a Democrat and I am registered as unaffiliated; but I will stand behind Joe and Kamala because another four years with our current president spells DISASTER.

There have been times when I wished I could escape…sit in a bar and drink myself into oblivion; but alcohol is not my friend. I can have one beer, but those times when I foolishly convinced myself that I could handle much more, ended with my head hung over a toilet bowl and later, wishing I were dead. The only thing in my experience that is worse than a hangover, is having a bad case of stomach flu. 

I have oftentimes desired to experience the high, so sought after by those who have used marijuana on a daily basis. These people are energized by weed, allowing them to stay awake for hours or work feverishly at a task. They have a metabolism far different than my own. When smoking pot became nearly as prevalent as smoking cigarettes to some, I rarely indulged, as it lulled me into overwhelming sleepiness, like Dorothy napping amidst a field of popples.

There are some who possess a degree of purity, or they have been brainwashed by religion, and they never give in to the temptations of alcohol or drugs; but their cabinets are stuffed with pharmaceuticals. Their pervasive anxiousness and other symptoms are masked, helping them to confront life’s challenges or to remain in denial. I have never been able to self-medicate and I refuse all drugs except for the occasional pain killer. 

Television, movies, and Facebook provide a huge distraction for people wanting a temporary escape from daily life. These things rarely work for me because television generally bores me to tears with its stupidity and it’s over abundance of sports. Most movies are too fraught with violence and graphic sex, rather than having a poignant story line. Facebook is the current means of communication whether we like it or not. When I was much younger, a daily run was my escape from the constant demand of a baby or toddler. Later, I found that I could escape briefly into the garden, but only in the summer months and only if I get out there early enough in the day before the heat becomes too intense. Sleep is another form of escape, but only when it is dreamless.

Our modern life has become so stressful that it has become necessary to look for regular and consistent means of vanishing from that life. If you observe other species, the only thing they need to escape from, is a predator. Most of their time is occupied with the job of finding food, water, and shelter, and finding a mate and raising young. The rest of the time, they are content just to be. Our human discontent and our inability to accept each moment as it comes, has given rise to our endless need to break away. We must ask ourselves what it is, from which we are wanting to escape. It is not life itself that challenges us, but the illusions that we humans create for ourselves. The only thing we must escape, are our illusions.

I remember watching March of the Penguins and wondering how each parent can find the other among thousands. When I see huge flocks of birds too, it is bewildering how they know their own mate and offspring. However; when I was caring for more than seventy swans, I could begin to tell them apart after observing them on a daily basis. It is really no different than how we humans learn to recognize each other. Our voices may be the most distinct characteristic that we have; and most likely it is these same subtle differences in inflection and tone, that allow other species to know their own relatives. When we are speaking to a receptionist on the phone that we have never met, they often sound very much the same. When you know the person who is speaking on the other end of the telephone line; however, you recognize the unique pitch of their voice, as opposed to one that is unfamiliar.

The voices of my three daughters, while similar, are distinctly different, and I can easily tell them apart on the telephone without needing them to identify themselves and without caller ID. It is second nature in fact, that most people know their children, spouses, and friends by voice alone. We can learn to identify many birds by their vocalization, but not being birds ourselves, we are unable to detect one particular bird from another. I hope in time, I will be able to distinguish my chickens by their voice, as well as by their markings. 

Nature has developed ingenious ways to help insects and butterflies locate one another and to help them find the particular flowers needed for the survival of their species. The monarch butterfly, in its ongoing search for milkweed, is one of thousands of examples of the symbiotic relationships that require communication of some type between different species.

Swans, Canada geese, and many waterfowl species, mate for life. Is it mere chance that allows them to develop this strong devotion to their chosen one and to their offspring? Or, do they actually find their one and only soulmate simply by the sound of their voice ? There are a few human relationships that last a lifetime. Do these couples have an innate ability to find that one best friend among billions? Are they able to tune in to some higher power that guides them to one another, allowing them to hear the voice of their beloved before they meet? Is it luck, and they just happened to draw the winning number? Perhaps if we had the ability to find the right partner the first time around, we would be happier human beings and we would have no need for hate or war.

How often have you made a purchase and brought an item home, and as you began removing the packaging, you noticed the fine print with the warning, “May cause cancer and reproductive harm”?  Most of these warnings originate in the state of California. Does this mean that only those people living in California should heed the warning? Do the warnings apply if you reside under the governance of a different state or country? Do the same terms apply as with a pending storm, where a watch means the possibility exists, but a warning implies that cancer has definitely been seen in association with the product? Do these warnings imply that I should return the product to the store? Or, must I wait until I have cancer and then employ an attorney to prove it was this particular product that I purchased, that caused my cancer? 

The medical media has built up immense fear in the general public, over this dreaded word. There are so many types of cancer that one can succumb to; but what is cancer, really? We know that basically cancer is just a lot of abnormal cells that decide to attack the body. Doctors have hundreds, if not thousands of drugs that have been created by pharmaceutical giants, for treating symptoms. Masses of people remain imprisoned in fear, which allows these companies and doctors to continue making money hand over fist. In order to increase their quota of patients, they have devised a multitude of various screenings, brainwashing people into believing that they must have these tests for their peace of mind. Naturally, many of these tests produce “false positives” and there is the possibility of human error added to the equation; but regardless, most people prefer to trust a fallible test, than to trust their own body.

Is it possible that some cancerous cells in the body are nothing more than our normal aging process? Without a doubt, global warming, and pollution of our air, water, and soil, are a huge factor in the cancers that are running amok among our human population. Would it not make more sense to address those things that are causing people to get sick, rather than merely treating symptoms? Instead of killing people with radiation, chemo, and frighteningly dangerous drugs, is it possible that given the chance, a healthy body could rid itself of cancerous cells on its own? I suspect nearly every body alive on the planet today carries within it some cancerous cells, as well as numerous toxic substances that have entered via our drinking water, our food, and our air. We can continue to “fight” cancer as though it were an actual enemy, or we can begin to clean up the mess we have made.

August is a bittersweet month. Many of the early spring flowers have faded. Mercifully, there are others such as aster, goldenrod, mums, Joe Pye weed, and helenium, that wait until late summer to grace us with color. A few perennial flowers bloom almost continually, from early spring until mid-fall. These are the rudbeckias, echinaceas, catmints, lavender, and coreopsis. I planted corn poppy seeds in early March. They finally began to bloom, much to my delight, the last week in June. They are still blooming. I intend to save the seeds and replant them in the fall, to give them a head start on next spring. There are several annual flowers that will reliably re-seed, such as cosmos, snapdragon, and columbine; although they are not perennial. I can count on these coming back year after year. 

The one thing I cannot count on, is that I will still be here next spring, because the one thing in my life that has been consistent, is change. This time of year, I often have waves of sadness begin to wash over me. It stems from my childhood when September, especially, was a time filled with dread because I knew I would have to return to school. We have had days already this month, when you could feel the coolness in the morning air – a subtle reminder that summer is fast tracking into autumn. I am slowing down in the garden and possibly reaching a point of burnout. There is still much to be done and there are so many flowers that I still want to plant; but I must be realistic. I could have saved my money to move to a more hospitable climate; but I have been deprived of having my own garden for far too many summers. I know that in the coming months, I will need to make decisions about my future, but for today, for this month, I will enjoy my flowers. I won’t think about tomorrow.

The many unreasonable restrictions placed on the general public to slow the spread of COVID19, has gotten way out of hand. People have gone too far in devising schemes to protect them from their fear – and indeed, their fear is the only thing being protected!

The basic requirement for Life 101 is simply to breathe. We must all breathe fresh air if we are to survive. Isn’t breathing the same stale air for hours, as is inevitable when our mouth and nose are covered, kind of like eating the same food that has already made a pass through our body? I have shed my light on this subject in a previous blog, so I will say no more; but the moronic assumptions that are being accepted as sensible by masses of people, are creating havoc everywhere.

A couple of days ago my granddaughters’ cat needed to go to the vet for a rabies shot, as a precaution, since there are racoons in the area. They were instructed to drive up to the veterinarian office where an attendant would come out to take the cat from them. While handing the cat to the inexperienced assistant, she escaped, leaving her leash and harness with ID behind. My granddaughters have had this cat since she was a kitten. She has slept beside them for the four years of her cat life. Now, the cat cannot be found. My granddaughters are devastated; and the cat, having been mostly a house cat, is outside, alone and scared and hungry, not knowing how to get home.

Because of the pandemic, the veterinary office would not allow pet owners to bring their pets inside to them, or even to the door – as if only a few feet could prevent the release of deadly germs. Anyone who knows cats, knows that most cats will not tolerate being handed over to a stranger. A cat carrier may have prevented the mishap, but the virus could just as easily be passed along on the pet’s fur. Endangering the safety of an animal out of unfounded fear is just stupidity. Haven’t we had enough?

There comes a time in a person’s life when she must finally let go of her dreams and simply be content with what is. The day dawns when the old must realize that hope is only for the young. We have missed the boat that might have taken us on a journey filled with joy and we have found ourselves on a different boat that has taken us instead, to a far away place of loss and loneliness. 

Our age becomes a cold, hard fact. We are no longer beautiful (if in fact, we ever were). No one wants us or needs us or desires us. We are on our own for whatever remains of our life. We have become invisible to most of the world as we slowly fade like the petals on a blossom that fall one by one, until it is no more.

The things we created and the good we offered to the life around us is soon forgotten. We have reached understanding, knowing that nothing we did ever really mattered. We never really mattered. It’s only life after all.

I am ready to return to the native nothingness from whence I came. Having let go of hopes and dreams and attachments, my life has been nothing more than an experience I have been having – neither good, nor bad. I take each day as it comes now. I have no expectations and I have learned to stop wishing and wanting. The lesson was learned – be careful what you ask for. I accept each day as it comes, knowing that the days are numbered now. As I breathe this deep breath, I know that any breath could be my last. I do not adhere to the illusion of so many, that my life can or should be “saved”. I pay no attention to those who say, “You still have a lot of years left.” No life can be saved. I am mortal. We are all mortal. I take each day as it comes because tomorrow, like the past, does not exist. I have only this moment. My life is but a moment in infinity, a dot in eternity.

When I was suddenly and unexpectedly put in charge of the swan collection, I was thrilled beyond belief; but I was also worried about those things I knew that I would need to do – things I had never been shown how to do. Necessity is the mother of invention, so they say, and eventually I figured out how to build traps in the water and out of the water, and how to make pens that were predator-proof, not to mention, how to trap the swans when I needed to band and wing-clip them. I had to do these things entirely on my own so it was not only necessary that I figure out how to do them; I needed to do them without a second pair of hands or eyes.

I have been “winging it” for most of my life. Like many divorced women, I have discovered an inner strength and tenacity that I would never have realized I had, if I had been wrapped in the comfort of a loving relationship. We learn to “fake it till we make it” and to focus on solutions rather than problems. Many of us discover that we are better off alone because for some reason that I cannot fathom, many men are not attracted to strong women. They prefer that we remain weak and dependent, or completely helpless. 

I am currently being challenged with my chicken coop project. Three days ago I mounted two perches in the coop, but the chickens were not using them. This, I learned, was because the perches were too high and too far apart. This morning I managed to lower one of them. I have the concept in my head and a basic understanding of what needs to be done. The problem is that I am having to screw my support pieces into a sheet of paneling that is only about 1/8th inch thick, so the supports are not holding as securely as I would like them to. If this was a class designed to teach me woodworking or basic construction, I would be failing miserably. Fortunately, I don’t have to please anyone except myself, and my chickens, of course. I will continue to “wing it” knowing that eventually I will get it right, or at least good enough.