17 JUNE 2022 BREAK

Earlier this week I received ten Norway spruce and two PeeWee hydrangeas from the Arbor Day Foundation. I need to put them in the ground as soon as possible. I also have numerous seedlings that I had begun indoors from seed that need to be planted. I have to keep up with mowing and clipping grass and cleaning and pruning the other shrubs that are in the yard. I am falling behind in my housework and have little time left to go grocery shopping, prepare meals, eat – and write this daily blog. I do as much as possible in the mornings, before I go to work at the motel. Perhaps if I was younger or had help…

Spring is always the busiest time for gardeners and I am no exception. I will honor my body and its need to move more slowly. I recognize my limits and rather than push myself too hard, I will take the time to enjoy the planting, growing, and watching all the miracles that this season brings forth. Summers here are far too short and I do not know how many summers I may have left to enjoy. For these reasons, I am taking a break from writing my blog. I will return after the 4th of July, when I can share with you in words, the visual fruits of my garden.

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16 JUNE 2022 THE SITUATION

If I could choose a time and a place to live, it would be in England or Ireland, prior to 1492.  Tobacco smoking and cigarettes did not exist there until after it was brought over from the Americas. In my lifetime, avoiding cigarette smoke has remained my greatest challenge. When I was a stay-at-home mom and when I worked from home or worked for myself, I was able to keep it away from my home and my life, for the most part; but those times when I have had to work in a business, I have struggled to remove myself from it. Those who smoke refuse to acknowledge that they are inflicting not only unpleasantness, but unhealthy air on everyone around them. 

You will often see smokers go outside in the early morning air or just after a nice rain, when the air is fresh and clean, only to light up a cigarette and completely foul the surrounding air. Everywhere you go, in parking lots, at traffic stops, and along city streets, there are cigarette butts  lying all over the ground. They do not see this as littering, but it is every bit as disrespectful as throwing out trash. If they bother to put them out in ashtrays, the putrid smell that they emit even after they have been snuffed out, is revolting. Many smokers smoke around their children and their pets. They smoke around their houseplants.They are always oblivious to the discomfort and annoyance they cause to non-smokers.

The entire building here where I work is non-smoking; however, my manager, my coworkers, and most of the guests are smokers. They stand right outside the doors smoking and everytime the door is opened some of the smoke gets in. It is on their clothing when they stand next to me and on their breath when they get too close while talking to me. It gets sucked in through the outside vent and comes in with the air-conditioned air. When I go home, the smell has attached itself to my clothes and my hair, which then have to be washed immediately. Coupled with the cigarette smoke is the constant exposure to toxic chemicals that are used for laundry and cleaning in the motel. Scented dryer sheets and trash bags add still more fumes for my lungs to contend with. The problem is exacerbated by the fact that none of the windows in the building open, so airing it out is next to impossible.

I have asthma, from having grown up in a household of smokers, so it is not merely the smell that I object to. I control my asthma with slow breathing and taking herbal cough drops when it gets bad, but it is the constant irritation that cigarette smoke inflicts, not only to my lungs, but to my emotional well-being as well. I like the people I work with and my job is tolerable, although I would prefer to be working outside. I am making the best of the situation for now because I know this is only temporary and that this too shall pass.

I had set a couple of chairs outside the front of the motel so that on nice days I could sit out there sometimes, when we weren’t busy. Within a couple of hours, all of the smokers had taken the seats for themselves, to sit outside and smoke. The smokers should be required to stay several yards away from the building. When I worked at the gardens in Arkansas, which was owned by the University of Arkansas, there was no smoking allowed anywhere on the property. Nearly all of the employees smoked and they would jump in their cars on their 15 minute breaks, and their lunch break, and drive down the road so that they could smoke. 

I fail to understand why so many people still smoke. Young people smoke. Middle aged people smoke. Old people smoke. I have never smoked a single cigarette in my entire life and it boggles my mind that these people do not seem to mind how awful they smell. I apologize for using this blog to vent, but if you too are a non-smoker then I know you can understand the aggravation and frustration that I must contend with. I would like to say that I get relief from it on the weekends, whenever I am not working; but I have a neighbor who smokes outside only a few feet away from my garden. Other neighbors across the street smoke as well and the wind blows it my way. Whenever I go to the grocery store, the air is filled with it as I walk from my truck into the store. 

Smokers feel that they are treated unfairly by non-smokers, but they refuse to see the unfairness of which they are depriving others – of breathing fresh air – which is so vital to life. The air that we breathe is precious. Without it, none of us could survive. Smokers do not value their own or anyone’s life. They are selfish, inconsiderate, and often rude. I cannot accept this situation of living with cigarette smoke. It is doubtful that I can change the situation. So, I will leave this situation – as soon as possible.

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15 JUNE 2022 PLASTIC

There are only two places in this town where you can purchase bedding plants and then for only about two months in the spring. One is a hardware store and the other a farm supply store. Yesterday, I had to go to the farm store for more bird seed and I made a quick pass through the flower section. Most of the plants were at some stage of impending death. This was partly due to the drying sun and wind that they have been exposed to and also because they had not been hardened off. A bigger reason, I believe, is because of the incompetence of the staff. I saw several plants, for instance, that need shade; but they had been displayed directly in the south facing sun. There is no doubt in my mind that when these pathetic looking flowers do not sell, they will simply be thrown in the trash – plastic pot, soil, and all. I know this because a few years back I had worked during the spring at a Costco and that is what they did.

Who has not heard by now, about the billions of tons of plastic in our oceans? If the human race was conscious at all, we would have stopped producing these plastic bottles and containers immediately upon that discovery. We would have said, Oh,no! Look at what we have done. Let us stop at once and see what we can do to fix this and to do better in the future.

The problem is that most of the world is not conscious. Most of the world is apathetic and most are selfish. The main problem of course, is that the companies continue to manufacture them. There are very few manufacturers who have switched to recyclable materials, but few people bother to recycle, or the containers end up in landfills anyway. All of us could easily put a stop to the production of plastics by simply REFUSING TO BUY THOSE THINGS THAT COME IN PLASTIC CONTAINERS. It is an easy solution really; but almost no one is willing to give up the consumerism that they have become so attached to.


I begin most of my plants from seeds these days. I save, wash, and re-use the plastic pots that I have collected over the years. The pots will long outlive me; however, and they will probably end up buried in a landfill after I am gone. There are so many ways that we can all reduce the amount of plastic we are contributing to the planet, but that would require all people to actually care.

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14 JUNE 2022 OVERWHELMING

Life gets overwhelming at times. This is one of those times for me and I have vacillated the whole day long about whether or not to take a break from this blog. While I normally have it posted each weekday before noon, it is already past 7 PM and I am feeling exhausted. There is no one twisting my arm, but only my own sense of commitment that pushes me to do the many things I do. 

Today, the Wind has taken the wind out of my sails. It began last evening, bringing colder temperatures along with the 60+ MPH gusts that have been non-stop. There has been no rain – only wind. I had transplanted several houseplants on Sunday and left a few of them out, erroneously believing that the weather was at last becoming consistently warm. When I arrived home from work; however, my Norfolk pine had been knocked to the ground and one of the growing tips had been nearly broken in half. A large branch off my shooting star hydrangea was broken off and the variegated spider plant had been shredded. One of my hummingbird feeders had been knocked down three times and was cracked. My plants were not all that took a beating. I got too close to a shrub and the wind caused a branch to slap me across the face. I spent this morning moving several of the seedlings to a more sheltered spot, that I had begun from seed, and have not yet had time to put them in the ground. 

Each day I must make certain that all the plants and seedlings are watered sufficiently so that they do not dry out. I also have to mow (with my reel mower) and clean and clip (with grass shears) weeds and grass around the shrubs. I have just received ten trees from Arbor Day that I must find time to plant. I am trying to proofread the final copy for the second printing of my book, Question Everything. Two of my three daughters have had birthdays, just five days apart, and I am helping my youngest daughter move, more than an hour away. I must keep the birdbath and the birdfeeders filled and find time for regular tasks like laundry, ironing, making meals for myself, and eating them. All of this I must do and also work 30 hours a week at the motel. For this reason, I am contemplating taking a mini vacation from writing this blog. 

At the same time, I enjoy writing. I find it to be a relaxing respite from the more physical nature of everything else that I do. I am overwhelmed, coupled with the annoying wind; but the decision to continue writing the blog will have to wait until tomorrow morning.  Like Scarlett O’hara, I am declaring that I won’t think about that right now. I will think about that tomorrow.

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13 JUNE 2022 DREAMS

I rarely remember my dreams and I prefer not to dream at all. There are those who advocate that you should try to remember dreams because they are messages from your subconscious. I have from time to time had dreams in which I woke up crying. Last night I had such a dream.

In my dream I was standing next to someone, watching as a valley was filled with water to create a reservoir for my mother and her water skiing friends. In the dream it took only moments for the reservoir to be completely filled, by a boat full of water. They immediately put in a ski jump for the water skiers. I tried to explain to the person standing next to me that thousands of species and their habitat were being displaced for human recreation. Those animals that could not escape would surely drown. I looked up then and saw buildings being erected – condos, strip malls, and motels. People were descending into the area in hordes. I began to cry. Then I woke up. 

I could not stop crying, but eventually I fell asleep again. Many times, I have felt the Earth’s pain. I have been sickened by the way my fellow humans disrespect the very planet that has given us life. That dream is weighing heavily on my heart today. I try to help people to understand the plight that our world is facing, through my writing; but it is as if I am talking, but no sound is being emitted. I feel alone as if in a soundproof bubble and no one is hearing what I say.

Fortunately, I have not had many dreams that brought me to tears. I have even had one or two in which I woke up laughing, but it has been quite some time ago. Unfortunately, global warming is not a laughing matter. My subconscious is a reflection of the frustration I am feeling, due to the ignorance, selfishness, and greed that I seem to be surrounded by. 

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10 JUNE 2022 WEAPONS

The most recent school shooting has got politicians once again arguing about gun laws. I have been firm in my belief that guns are unnecessary. They are terrible things that have been created only to destroy. The Tao Te Ching aligns with my own view on the subject of weapons, and it states that all people should detest them because they only bring forth sorrow. The possession of weapons, of any kind, implies that there is a need for them, but there is no need.

It is argued that police must have guns to do their job. This, too, is a lie. Police can be trained in martial arts. They can use pepper spray and perhaps a tranquilizer gun to immobilize a suspected criminal. Shooting them only places the police officer under suspicion because it must then be decided if there was probable cause or if the officer acted out of racial or some other bias. Contrary to the biggest argument for owning guns, a gun will not protect you. Owning a gun merely increases the possibility that you will use it to do harm. If you use a gun in the belief that it will keep you safe, you have a fifty fifty chance that you will be shot.

The issue of gun possession is really an issue of our collective belief in violence. Why is there violence? Violence is born out of fear. Perceiving another person or another country as an enemy because they have what we want, or because we cannot control them, is where violence begins. Creating laws and imposing sanctions is seen as a  challenge to those that would oppose them. It creates resistance, which leads to conflict. Conflict leads to violence. The Tao Te Ching also states that we should have no need for laws and that the laws we should live by are those written on our hearts.

Young men and women join, or are drafted into the military. They are issued guns and trained in the art of fighting. They are indoctrinated into a life of violence at a tender age, long before they have acquired wisdom from living life. It is only after having witnessed the horrors of war that some will begin to question the error of their ways. Our children are being taught that life here on our planet is fraught with violence. They are learning that arming themselves with weapons is their only hope for survival, but in actuality, owning weapons only ensures that the violence will continue.

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9 JUNE 2022 It’s My Pleasure

You seldom hear the polite phrases that were a common way of speaking in years gone by. I remember the first time I met a friend, several years ago now, who when I had thanked her for something, she said, “Oh, no.” “It is my pleasure!” 

As our friendship grew, she used that phrase often and I always felt that it came from her heart. In other words, she was saying, do not thank me – I was happy to do this thing for you. She had learned at an early age, probably from her mother who owned a bakery, that politeness was the key to successful business. 

Being polite is important in our relationships as well. Even the most hardened of hearts wants to be loved and appreciated. My friend and others like her have learned that doing for others is truly a pleasure. The general response when one says, “thank you” is simply, “You are welcome.” It is a cordial, but empty response. When you say instead, “It is my pleasure!,” the person feels a greater sense of thankfulness. When Juliette tells Romeo in Shakespear’s famous play, “The more I give (love) to thee, the more I have,” nothing could be more true. Any act of kindness is an act of love and that is the greatest treasure.  

Those who have not learned that we live in an infinite universe, believe they must hoard their possessions, their money, and their love. They struggle to acquire and to hold onto the people and the things in their lives. They live in constant fear that what they have will be lost or taken away; but that which we give away freely always returns to us multiplied.

It has been said that if we want more in our lives, we must give more. If we want more money, we must give more of it away. If we want more happiness, we must strive to make others happy. If we want more love, we must be loving. It is truly for our own pleasure, that we give.

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8 JUNE 2022 DESKS

For a writer such as myself, a desk has always been a necessary piece of furniture. Many people work in offices where desks are essential. Teachers have desks. Some people work from home these days and having a home office with a desk is vital to their job. I wonder; however, if desks are becoming less important. Younger generations that have grown up with laptops and Ipads, seem to be comfortable anywhere. They write from their beds or while sitting on the sofa with the television on in the background. They write at the kitchen table or at the local coffee shop. Many of them need only their smartphones, from which they scroll, talk to friends, and pay bills.

I had a wonderful desk for more than twenty years. It was a vintage, solid oak desk with a small matching oak chair. It was likely a teacher’s desk at one time. It had three ample drawers on the right side with a pull-out writing surface above the drawers and one large drawer in the center for pencils, pens, and writing paraphernalia. When I moved into the tiny house that I am now living in, my desk was too large to take with me. I gave the desk to my daughter (who never really used it) and now she is selling her house and moving into a smaller place. 

Yesterday, I had to sell my desk. It made me quite sad. I have spent many hours at that desk, often with my cat lying to one side or sitting and looking out the window. All of my cats seemed to know when my attention was deeply focused on my writing and they chose those times to receive their daily dose of love and petting, while I was working at my desk. I have written and published two books while sitting at that desk. I have written other stories and poems on it as well. I miss my desk. I miss the pretty, flowery gift wrap that I had used to line the drawers. I miss its familiarity.

I have had to learn to make do without my desk. I have learned that I can write from most anywhere. I can write with pen and paper. I can write with my laptop, as I am doing now. I miss the convenience of having things I need at only my arm’s length away, in the drawers. I hope that I can get another desk one day, but these days it is almost impossible to find anything made of solid wood, or made with the care and craftsmanship that once went into a piece of furniture. So I must grieve for a while over the loss of something that has been part of my life for a very long time. The desk is going to a good home. The man who bought it intends to put it in the new house that he is building, so that consoles me. 

One day, I will have to sell my truck, too. We have spent many hours together and shared some unforgettable journeys. Learning to let go – it is the way of life, but it is rarely easy.

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7 JUNE 2022 BIRD NESTS

It is not uncommon for birds to build nests next to human dwellings. I currently have a nest in the eaves between my front porch and roof and I can hear the baby birds when I am sitting out there. In past seasons, I have found nests tucked inside ferns hung from my porch. I have had two people complain to me already this spring, about finding bird nests near their homes, and I have to remind them that the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service has made it illegal to remove any active bird nests. This means that if there are eggs or hatchlings in the nest, the nest cannot be disturbed until after the birds have fledged.

I have worked in Master Gardener offices answering calls that came in and bird nests was a question that came up often. I recall a woman who complained that the birds were “dive bombing” her kids whenever they went in or out of their front door. She was afraid the birds would attack, but they were merely protecting their nest. I suggested she use a different door until the birds had left the nest. 

Barn swallows, purple martins, house finches, and wrens will make use of human habitats to raise their own families. While a few people resent the inconvenience that nesting birds may cause them, I find great joy in their presence and it feels like a blessing on my home. I feed the birds, provide water for them, and care for their environment, so it feels like good karma returning to me. I provide bird houses for them as well. I once had a beautiful copper bird house when I was in Virginia, that was graced with a family of bluebirds; but I had to move, so I told the realtor he could have the house after the birds were finished with it.

There are people who do not appreciate birds and do not want them anywhere near their homes. They will stop at nothing to deter the birds – even putting spikes under the eaves that could potentially spear the birds to death. It is those people who do not appreciate Nature, who have contributed to causing the most harm to other species and to our planet. It is said that having birds nest by your home is a sign of good luck and prosperity. Perhaps the prosperity that is referred to is not the human idea of wealth, but of the beautiful abundance of life that is everywhere.

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6 JUNE 2022 TOADS

At long last the weather is warm enough that I can go outside in a sleeveless shirt. The growing season here is painfully short, so I have been putting plant seedlings into the ground that I had begun indoors. Gardening is a risky undertaking in this part of the country. If the plants can withstand the wind by growing strong, there is still a strong possibility that hail can bring their short lives to an abrupt end. 

Yesterday, while I was clipping some tall grass near the garden, I noticed something that looked to be a small rock; but when I went to move it I saw that it was a toad. It was fairly large, so it may have been quite old. They can live more than ten years in the wild. I set it in the garden and I am hoping it will continue to live and hunt there. Toads’ diets consist of insects, including crickets, grasshoppers, spiders, worms, flies, snails, snakes, and even other amphibians. Mice, rats, lizards, and birds can also become prey for a large, hungry toad.

Unlike frogs, toads walk rather than hop. They have excellent color vision and they hunt mostly at night since the daytime sun will dry them out. They do not drink water, but absorb it through their skin and through the food they eat. They begin life in an egg, in a vernal pool or other water source. They then hatch into a tadpole and remain in the water until they become juveniles. We can help toads out by maintaining a water source near their habitat in which they can lay eggs. Nearly one third of all frog and toad species are endangered or already lost to extinction. Habitat loss is the greatest threat to most of the world’s species, coupled by humans’ liberal use of herbicides and pesticides. For this reason, I am truly grateful for the toad I have found near my garden and I am thankful that, at least while I am living here, it will have a banquet of insects to eat.

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