What is normal? Normal is whatever the patterns of our habitual thinking consider to be normal. In essence, it is indefinable because it is subject to as many different interpretations as there are people. Within our definition of normal, we must take into account customs and habits that have been unique to us personally, or within our family, or our community. The idea of normal is an illusion because life is ever changing.
When a custom or habit maintains its place for a long time, we tend to become complacent. It is easy to fall into the trap of feeling comfortable; then when we least expect it, our comfort zone is upended. We resist the changes whether they happen suddenly, or over a short period of time. We can become paralyzed with fear when our normal is threatened; then we retreat, or fight against that which has thrown cold water in the face of our illusory normalcy.
We have all heard on the news that in light of the recent pandemic we must accept a “new normal”. The truth is that our normal is always being tweaked here or there and metamorphosing little by little. When the changes happen slowly we are less apt to notice them. We generalize; or we become focused on some small thing and don’t bother to look up at the bigger picture. We savor special moments, but our mistake is in wanting to prolong those moments. We overlook the more mundane events, clinging to the past or hoping for an unforeseeable future. When we realize that normal is whatever is happening in this moment, we cease to try and mold the future into a predictable scenario. The most normal thing we can do is to accept right now just as it is; to know that the next moment will take care of itself. My grandmother taught me a song when I was a young girl that was sung by Doris Day. The lyrics are just as appropriate today as they were then. “Que sera, sera – Whatever will be will be. The future’s not ours to see. Que sera, sera.” Normal is only this moment.
