Women have had to fight for equality in so many areas. During the women’s liberation movement of the late 1960’s many women entering into matrimony began hyphenating their names in order to retain their maiden name. When I was first married I was only too happy to release my stepfather’s name, which had been legally changed for me when I was eleven. Following my divorce, I went back to using the name of my biological father – the name that I had been born with. Later, I remarried and I gave up my birth name for a second time. I did not think much about it because I was in love and we all know that love is blind.
I have had years now, to consider the problems with names. Women have had to change their names for centuries to become Mrs. Somebody. For ages, we were nobody. We were property belonging first to our fathers and then to our husbands. Women clearly have had an identity crisis. Who were we? Who are we? My name has changed five times. Who am I?
It seems only right that children should all be given hyphenated names in order to honor both the father and the mother. If a woman retains only her father’s name, she is still upholding the tradition that her father was higher ranking than her mother, regardless that it was her mother’s womb that provided the means for her life to begin. It was, in most cases, her mother who raised her and who provided most of the nurturing that mothers are pre-wired for.
While I regret taking the last name of my now ex-husband, I have kept it because I am a published writer. I still contemplate the idea of changing it to honor both my parents. I will probably be cremated, but if I had a tombstone, which of my names would be the correct one to etch on it? Men have never had such a dilemma. They have never had to question who they are in terms of this physical realm. Women’s names are mostly indicative of the role we play at any given moment – miss, Ms., Mrs., mom, grandma. I hope my granddaughters can change this one day so that all women can know who they truly are.
