I was unable to write Monday’s blog as I spent much of the day journaling. I needed to process the death of my 28 year old grandson. The grieving of this great loss and the intense emotion and pain that accompanied it, is similar in many ways to birth. Over time, we come to accept the unacceptable, even if we never fully understand why.
Whenever someone dies, especially those who are young, we ask, “Why?” The doctors may be able to provide a fairly reasonable explanation of the physical cause of death. The organs fail, the heart stops beating, the lungs stop taking in vital oxygen. They can give us detailed accounts of how the body had failed the soul that had occupied it. What the doctors cannot tell us is “why?”
When we grieve, we become midwife to the birth of our own understanding. Eventually, acceptance of our loss opens the womb of our consciousness, allowing us to see a new day. Through this our soul grows. It is painful and sometimes the pain seems unbearable. Just like every woman’s labor and birth experience is different, so too, is each person’s period of grief. Whenever we experience loss of any kind, it is a form of death, but for every loss something new is brought forth. Life is a dance between birth and death.
My tomato plants have withered in the freezing temperatures and the remaining young, unripe tomatoes will be composted into the soil. The enriched soil will give birth to a new garden in the coming spring. As I grieve the passing of my oldest grandson, I look to the garden for a better understanding. I will never know “why” he has left us, but for now, I accept the pain. I accept the loss, knowing that in time, understanding will be brought forth.
