While I was a practising aesthetician during the 1990’s, I would begin my client’s facial by massaging their shoulders, neck, and arms in order that they might relax from their drive to my salon, or anything else that they might be stressed about. I had learned early on in my aesthetics training, that our skin is the largest organ of our body. During my childbearing years, in the 1970’s, I read a book by Ashley Montague called Touching: The Human Significance of the Skin. Now in its third edition, this book has brought to light the vital importance of skin to skin contact, not only in the early development and psychological well being of humans, but also in the body’s immunology. Our sense of touch is our first and most sensitive faculty by which we explore the world from the confines of our physical form.
During my first visit to physical therapy for my arthritic hands, the therapist used a very cold, flat, oval shaped metal object to massage my forearms. This immediately reminded me of the arm and hand massages that I had provided for my clients in the past and caused me to long for that human touch which the PT therapist was clearly not providing. The loneliness that has become prevalent in our modern society, as evidenced by the numerous dating sites, is a sign that people are starving to be touched. I believe that, especially with older adults, it is rarely sex that they are seeking. Our need to connect to others through companionship and conversation, is second to the need for close physical contact. Unfortunately, there are many people today who have been divorced, or widowed, and find that their lives are lacking, even if they have numerous friends and activities to fill their days.
Humans are not the only mammals that require closeness and affection. Cats often sleep together. I have had a cat sleeping on my bed with me for my entire adult life. Many people’s dogs sleep with them in their beds. My children slept with me from birth until they were two or three years old since I was greatly influenced by Tine Thevenin’s book The Family Bed, which was also published in the 1970’s. The isolation that has been brought on by COVID has exacerbated the problem of loneliness for many. I don’t have any clear solutions for this sense of emptiness in my own life since it is doubtful I will find companionship at my age. I do plan to seek out a massage therapist; however, and indulge in regular massages for my arms, hands, and feet!
