In 1999, after I had moved from Colorado, where I was born and raised, I moved to Tennessee. It was then that I realized there is no perfect place. We give up some things in order to have that which we believe we want. The biggest shock for me at that time was the cultural difference. Colorado is progressive, open-minded, free-thinking. I learned quickly that people in the bible belt have a whole other way of looking at life – through the blinders of their religion. I was amazed when I saw rebel flags being flown and I realized that the Klu Klux Klan was alive and well. Since the insurrection on our capitol on January 6th, we have all been made aware that white supremicist groups exist in many areas around the country.
I had never planned to leave Virginia, where I had found real happiness; but “life is what happens to us when we are making other plans”. Back in Colorado, and later in Wyoming, I longed for trees, for green, for rain, and for humidity. I was a fish out of water, drying up in the desert conditions of the arid climate, the brown, shriveled landscape, and the endless winters. Having at last arrived in Arkansas, my skin and my sinuses are loving the humidity. I am surrounded by lush, green trees and enjoying the birdsong of a greater variety of birds. We have had copious amounts of rain; but along with these things that I love, is the ever-present poison ivy, mosquitoes, ticks, and chiggers. I have found it to be colder than I expected. I am often taken aback at the deeply ingrained religious convictions of my new friends and coworkers, so I guard my tongue carefully. I am grateful to be here, in spite of those things. I have been pleasantly surprised by the friendliness and kindness that I have been shown, by nearly everyone I have met. I am awed by the respect I feel from those who call me “Miss Lisbeth”.
Arkansas is not a perfect place. I have given up the bright living room in which my houseplants had thrived. I have given up my chickens and my flowers. I have given up a truly functional kitchen in which to cook. I have given up proximity to my daughters. I have also given up the loneliness and the lack of income that had begun to feel like a prison. This was the tradeoff. Only time will tell if I can be as happy here in Arkansas as I was in Virginia; but I am content with this moment. I have been guided here for some reason – a reason that has yet to be revealed.
