My favorite holiday, Thanksgiving, is over for another year. Today is what has become known as Black Friday, a virtual frenzy to buy as many products as possible for the least amount of money. For many, Christmas is their favorite time of year. It is my least favorite. Most gifts are purchased out of a sense of obligation, or to impress others. Wealth has become a symbol of superiority in our culture.
I began to question the giving of gifts and the perpetuation of the Santa Claus myth, years ago. How does it serve children to allow them to believe in fairy tales and in Easter bunnies and Halloween ghosts and witches? I have known parents who persist in their insistence that their children still believe in Santa Claus, long after the children know better. It is, I suspect, more for the purpose of filling some void within the parent. Children are intelligent and we inhibit their maturity and their ability to make a smooth transition into adulthood, when we coddle them and disallow them to grow up and learn responsibility. We have a generation of youth that have grown up so immersed in consumerism that they are unable to cope with life’s often harsh realities. When they have been given to for their entire lives, absolutely everything they could ever want, they do not learn to appreciate or to value those things. As soon as they get one thing, they tire of it, and want the next thing. They are never satisfied and sadly, they are rarely happy.
The giving of gifts is a beautiful thing. When we give gifts that are truly from the heart, celebrating a birthday or a wedding – or for no reason at all – it is the giver who feels the greatest joy. Spontaneous giving is the best kind of giving because it eliminates expectation. Giving without provocation, but as a direct impulse of the heart, contains the elements of surprise and humility. What we all need, and what our world needs, is not more stuff. We need more love.
