This year has felt long, stretched out, with the end looming still far into the distance. I know that it will pass, as all things do; but because of the pandemic and too much isolation, I am ready to be done with it. No doubt, there are many who share this sentiment. My daughter deployed in February and she is now counting the days until she can return home. She recently informed me that instead of being home mid-December, her unit will have to quarantine for two weeks and then go through debriefing to prepare them for coming home. Now she will not be here until after the first of the year.
Writing letters via snail mail is regrettably a thing of the past, but I wish I could receive letters from her, sharing her feelings and her hopes. Her company has been moved from one country to another over the past months, making it nearly impossible to send or receive letters or care packages. In many respects modern technology has made communicating with soldiers who are overseas, much easier. We have been able to converse through Facebook Messenger and once or twice have had face to face conversations on our smartphones. The downside of this, is that it is more difficult for the soldiers to leave their problems at home. My daughter has had to participate in court hearings over custody of her son using ZOOM and while she purchased an expensive smartphone for her twelve year daughter, her daughter does not want to communicate. The soldiers of previous times often did not know what was going on ”back home” until they had returned, or if they were fortunate enough to receive letters from loved ones. I am concerned for my daughter, knowing that she worries about things here at home, that are out of reach for her at the moment. I worry that the emotional distraction could compromise her safety.
We had one of our rare FaceTime conversations a few days ago. She looked tired and drained. As I searched her face for even the hint of a smile, I could see only weariness. The only thing worse than going through our own trials and tribulations, is watching our children go through theirs. I have had to witness suffering in all three of my daughters throughout their adult lives. The hardest lesson (for me) was realizing that I could not save them. They have had to live with the consequences of the choices they have made, as I have had to live with mine. My daughter made the choice to be a soldier. She has made many other difficult choices in her life. I look forward to the opportunity, in a few months time, to put a smile back on her face.
