20 MARCH 2023 HIRAETH

My family, on my paternal grandmother’s side, immigrated from Wales. I learned last year, from DNA testing, that I am 95% English. (Wales became part of Great Britain in 1707, and in 1801 it was incorporated into Ireland and Great Britain.) I have always been drawn to everything English, so learning about my ancestry helped me to understand why. When I recently came across the word “hiraeth,” it gave meaning to a feeling that has haunted me for my entire life.

Hiraeth is an ancient Welsh word that describes a longing for home. It is a kind of yearning, imbued with nostalgia, or a feeling of homesickness. For me, it is a heavy heart, weighed down with melancholy and a desire to return home.

Where is home? I have owned my own homes in Colorado and also in Virginia. I have rented homes. I have always had a natural ability to bring forth a “homey” feeling into every place that I have lived. Each house; however, was lacking some intangible something. There has been within me, a vague loneliness that I could not put into words, even when I was married. This longing for something that I cannot quite convey, accompanies me to every new place that shelters me.

I often think of Earth as my home, for indeed, it is home to all of us. And yet, I have never felt that it is truly my home. I suspect I may have come from somewhere else – perhaps the Pleiades – which is why even as a child, I never felt like I belonged here. At other times, I have felt that this hiraeth that surrounds me is actually a longing to return to my Source. I believe that as long as I occupy this physical body, I will continue to be haunted by hiraeth. Perhaps, in being born into this physical existence, we must separate from our creator. It is only when we establish that spiritual connection with it that we can ease the pain of separation. Most try to fill the void of that separation through relationship, through finding true love or a “soul mate;” but it is only in deepening that relationship with our higher self that we can truly go home – to that place from which we came.