Paraphrasing Eckhart Tolle, between life and death, we are always trying to get past the trouble, all the while creating more trouble. I am remembering the Cat Stevens song, Trouble, that came out in the 1970’s. Today is a new moon and it is high time that I resume the writing of this blog. I have been writing it in my head; but until now, I have not had the time nor the energy to actually write it. I began this adventure in February while I was still in Wyoming. It is now June and the past four months have felt as though I was watching a movie about someone else’s life. Yes, I have made it to Arkansas; but my final destination remains unclear. The one thing that I AM clear about, is my burning desire to have a small permaculture farm where I can build my own home with an attached greenhouse; and hopefully have a pond for waterfowl, and other animals that I can care for. If I am completely honest, I need a companion to join me in this endeavor. This is where it gets complicated. I have now been single for an entire decade. I am comfortable in my aloneness. I question my ability to enter into a healthy relationship since I have, admittedly, become jaded where men are concerned. The fact remains; however, that my dreams have always been too big for one person. Apparently, in trying to get past this confusion – this trouble – I create still more confusion.
When I began writing this blog, I committed to 5 days a week, with a noon deadline each day. I will strive to uphold that commitment as I press the accelerator on my keyboard once again, but with more leniency towards the time frame. I must now juggle my writing with my paying job. My muse is frantically vying for my attention, urging me to get on with the story. She even has me contemplating writing a sequel to Question Everything.
I will wrap up this entry with some more Eckhart wisdom. Once we have achieved our goal that we have struggled long and hard to achieve, the new circumstances that we have created come with their own set of challenges. My preliminary goal was to reach Arkansas. The many challenges that I faced getting here will be related later. Have I had new challenges in the short time that I have been here? Oh, yes.
